why do people get banned at shaving sites?

Freddy you do makle a good point. I think there are a couple of forums that need to be shut down for the good of traditional wetshaving. In lieu of that, there is at least one thing that can be done. If someone sees a member being mistreated on another forum, just PM them, tell them about Damn Fine Shave, and invite them to come here. For that matter, invite people from the troubled sites even if they have not been mistreated yet. An ounce of prevention, so to speak. It is a positive action, and benefits both them and us. In that way, the harmful effects of miscreant sites can be mitigated.

Brilliant idea Tbone!

Freddy you do makle a good point.  I think there are a couple of forums that need to be shut down for the good of traditional wetshaving.  In lieu of that, there is at least one thing that can be done.  If someone sees a member being mistreated on another forum, just PM them, tell them about Damn Fine Shave, and invite them to come here.  For that matter, invite people from the troubled sites even if they have not been mistreated yet.  An ounce of prevention, so to speak.  It is a positive action, and benefits both them and us.  In that way, the harmful effects of miscreant sites can be mitigated.

For me, Tbone, there are a couple of caveats to your suggestion.  If you are still on the other site so you can PM the mistreated member, your idea is not bad because a good member being mistreated might be ready to move on.  However, if a member has not been mistreated and mentions the invitation to go to a different site, whether ours or another, to an admin/mod at that site then bad blood and nasty threads could form on both sites and that is never good.  Also, an admin on the other site might read the PM and ban the member who sent it and possibly put the recipient on a 'watch' list.  That does neither the sender nor the recipient any good.

If a member on another site is being mistreated and you know that person's e-mail address, that might be the better way to go.  If that member comes here then he or she can get in touch with other members on the offending site, through e-mails, and let the word spread that way.   I think all sites gain and lose members because of mistreatment. Remember, a banned member may very possibly feel mistreated even if the ban was warranted.  The right or wrong of mistreatment or a ban can be a very thin line.  I am not suggesting that many of the complaints we read about aren't warranted.  I have experienced this on another site a couple of times.  They were minor incidents and I was not warned or banned but I did not return either.  Ultimately, as far as I am concerned, it was that site's loss, not mine.  That is why I suggested to let the offending site just slip to the periphery of one's mind and move on.

andrewjs18 managed to turn DFS into a beautiful phoenix.  The original site was dead.  I was there until the end and never thought it would be revived.  What Andrew has done is bring back our site even better than it was before and I would hate for a war of words with other sites to taint all of that hard work.

Freddy excellent post. I am grateful to andrewjs18 and the rest of the moderators and everyone who has had a hand in the revival of DFS - I never knew the first iteration but then, I didn't know any of the other forums either. I stumbled on to DFS through Barrister & Mann and I've felt welcome and comfortable here. I don't think active solicitation on other forums is necessarily a good idea. I think that word of mouth, or whatever the cyber-equivalent of that might be is sufficient. If you build it they will come.
Marko

Speaking for myself, I wouldn't have known about DFS if it wasn't recommended to me while I was on another forum. If admins/mods of other forums can't abide members opening accounts elsewhere due to abuse, that's their own issue. Forums aren't meant to be inescapable penal colonies.

That doesn't mean people should plaster invites to DFS across other forums. That's just rude. But if you see someone being mistreated, giving them an out is a mercy.

Freddy, that was an excellent post. I would give it two likes if I could. To be perfectly clear, I was not in any way suggesting that we do things to start battles with other forums. That includes recruiting campaigns. These are forums about shaving, not sporting teams or political parties. It is possible to belong to more than one shaving forum and not be a "traitor". You are quite right about communicating via email when possible. It is kind of sad that people have to worry about that, though.

That is why I suggested to let the offending site just slip to the periphery of one's mind and move on.

andrewjs18 managed to turn DFS into a beautiful phoenix.  The original site was dead.  I was there until the end and never thought it would be revived.  What Andrew has done is bring back our site even better than it was before and I would hate for a war of words with other sites to taint all of that hard work.

You are so very right about what andrewjs18, the mods and the members have done with DFS. This is the best forum of any sort that I have seen.

Very nearly every wetshaving forum has a thread just like this one. They serve their purpose as safety valves of sorts, letting people vent off steam. Having served their purpose, they are eventually closed and fade away. Perhaps it is time to do that with this thread now, as you are also right about moving on. That way the focus will be more on what traditional wetshaving is rather than what other places are not. Twenty pages of examples of injustices and dissatisfaction is more than engough to get the point across.

Thanks, Tbone.

I suggested to let the offending site just slip to the periphery of one's mind and move on

I just came across this thread and completely agree. I will suggest that there be no bad blood or use of others’ screen names mentioned anywhere in a negative manner. I am so glad I found this forum. The rules are simple and common sense. There is no need to go off on other places and here is why … IMO

If you are old enough to remember, there was a time that America Online (AOL) about ruled the Internet. It was a closed system. Users were brand new to the internet. They didn’t know how to use it.   You logged onto AOL and remained within their virtual space. While they sent out free floppy disks, and then CDs with their software on it, meanwhile, the Internet was exploding around them in an uncontrollable manner. This very open and exploding virtual space eventually doomed the closed society.  Over time, they became a footnote in history as users grew in knowledge and sophistication.

If you look at the virtual space shaving forums occupy today, it’s a growing but niche market still in its infancy. It’s not like cars, gardening, or other things that touch upon about everyone in society.  Whoever is first to the virtual marketplace, much like the AOL story will flourish as there no alternatives.  However, a closed society will likely follow AOL into history. Users become more sophisticated.  They have come to understand that the entire strength of the Internet depends upon its interconnectivity and the ability to reference, quote, attribute, research, and assimilate the knowledge of others while at the same time respecting the intellectual property of others. If a subsystem within the space strangles its consumers with a closed society, all discussions fall into a logical fallacy of Proof by Assertion, that is, "it’s true because I say its true."

The best advice is exactly what you prescribed just move on. Virtual spaces will grow or die on their own accord based upon their own strengths or failings and do no need negativity to provide that emphasis. They do it own their own.

As someone said, the opposite of love is not hate, it’s apathy.  

There is one thing I can add as I have been a moderator elsewhere since forums were list servers. It is very rare that any forum on any subject exists purely for altruistic reasons. They exists to make money. Once a forum reaches a sufficient size it gets on the radar of companies whose business is to make money from forums. They might own 100, 200, etc. forums on a wide variety of subjects. Until the time comes that the growth is sufficient to bring it the attention of larger corporations, it might be a side business or a means for income for the owner. Rules, for better or worse, tend to change once forums fall under the umbrella of a large corporation.

grim, that is a most interesting take on this subject. Thanks for the input.

Freddy you do makle a good point.  I think there are a couple of forums that need to be shut down for the good of traditional wetshaving.  In lieu of that, there is at least one thing that can be done.  If someone sees a member being mistreated on another forum, just PM them, tell them about Damn Fine Shave, and invite them to come here.  For that matter, invite people from the troubled sites even if they have not been mistreated yet.  An ounce of prevention, so to speak.  It is a positive action, and benefits both them and us.  In that way, the harmful effects of miscreant sites can be mitigated.

For me, Tbone, there are a couple of caveats to your suggestion.  If you are still on the other site so you can PM the mistreated member, your idea is not bad because a good member being mistreated might be ready to move on.  However, if a member has not been mistreated and mentions the invitation to go to a different site, whether ours or another, to an admin/mod at that site then bad blood and nasty threads could form on both sites and that is never good.  Also, an admin on the other site might read the PM and ban the member who sent it and possibly put the recipient on a 'watch' list.  That does neither the sender nor the recipient any good.

If a member on another site is being mistreated and you know that person's e-mail address, that might be the better way to go.  If that member comes here then he or she can get in touch with other members on the offending site, through e-mails, and let the word spread that way.   I think all sites gain and lose members because of mistreatment. Remember, a banned member may very possibly feel mistreated even if the ban was warranted.  The right or wrong of mistreatment or a ban can be a very thin line.  I am not suggesting that many of the complaints we read about aren't warranted.  I have experienced this on another site a couple of times.  They were minor incidents and I was not warned or banned but I did not return either.  Ultimately, as far as I am concerned, it was that site's loss, not mine.  That is why I suggested to let the offending site just slip to the periphery of one's mind and move on.

andrewjs18 managed to turn DFS into a beautiful phoenix.  The original site was dead.  I was there until the end and never thought it would be revived.  What Andrew has done is bring back our site even better than it was before and I would hate for a war of words with other sites to taint all of that hard work.

thanks for the kind words, Freddy. of course a lot of work was also put into building out the site by you, the rest of the mod team and our theme guru. I appreciate that!

the biggest thanks go out to everyone who continues to visit & post on the site!