(This post was last modified: 06-26-2015, 08:03 AM by srhardy.)
My favourite bedtime evolutionary story, the history of wet shavers! (as never taught in school ~ the first conspiracy... And the true story of wet shaving)
It was in deepest, darkest Africa. Birth place of civilisation that was 2million BC when man first chipped off the sharp edged Andesite flint to shave with and his name was Fred Flinstone! So you can credit the birth of modern man to this act as Fred is recorded in cave drawings as the first wet shaver! The search for a better shave led early man to start mining and experimenting with metals and the golden age of wet shaving was born. This required co-operation and so the first organised communities were born, leading to complex government and the need for time keeping and so shavers could know when 'shavedays' of rest were to be observed. And so, religion was born! But the search continued and bronze was born, making razors last longer, shaves closer with less nicks and cuts. This innovation was so popular that the Greeks needed a system where by they would decide which shave was best and so democracy and voting was born. Romans liked the idea of voting and so not only adopted democracy, but thought forums were the best place to exercise this new form of wet shaving decision making. Once a man called Caesar refused to shave and so the forum got together with their Iron shaving blades and gave old Caesar a permanent close shave and so collectivisation for the greater good of wet shaving was invented. Time passed and at last the Germans tried to unite the world in shaving the German way. This led to WW-Merkur and the great depression when beards and narrow moustaches became popular. Led by Edwin Jagger, the second WW-Muhle weapons of mass destruction known as R89 Grande Safety Razor was deployed for the first time in anger. It was a narrow win for the Artisans that stood against this ternary and soon new scented soaps were being produced and shipped all over the newly freed world! The Iron Curtain fell to the people revolt for freedom of choice for aftershaves (some of which they drank, the rest they splashed around and so aftershave and cologne was born). Next to fall was Red China, when it was discovered they would recycle badgers into amazing new invention known as the shaving brush! But soon environmentalists wanted vegan brushes and so after much letter writing by a popular traditional shaver on youtube, the brush of the gods was born and they named him 'PLISSON' after his french wetshaving inventor. NASA was born to answer the burning questions like, cant you wet shave in space (yes) and can we take wet shaving to the rest of the universe? That great step of evangelising wet shaving to the rest of the universe stands before us and never before have so few, faced so many with so large a task. But razors raised, lather mixed and blades selected. We will go forth, teach others to grow hair so they can mow it down and forever bring the peace that wet shaving brings to the Universe! And here endth the lesson, Amen! (you did say 'tell a story' after all)