This butterfly was big

I had to walk down early for my prescription medicine. I did the three military S's and was walking out the door. WAIT! I didn't use any aftershave and spent a few seconds in Soloman judgment if I needed any. Of course I did and splashed on some Floid; a LOT of FLOID. I'm now walking down the sidewalk and some moron on a minibike comes roaring up screaming for Me to GTF out of HIS way. At that moment a seagull decided to fly out of a dumpster and flew across the street colliding with a UPS truck. The dead and disemboweled bird collided with EASYRIDER sending both crashing into a eucalyptus tree. I called 911 and reported a traffic accident with injuries and a probable fatality. I gave first aid; first determining that yes, the gull was a goner. Police, ambulance and two firetrucks show up. They take the biker to the hospital ( broken collarbone and ankle) and my report. LEO asks why I thought there would be fatalities? I replied, the bird looked pretty bad. He gives me a dirty look behind his RAYBANS, takes in my tie, polished shoes and clean shaven face and finished without further comment. I pick up my blood pressure meds, must be working. I give the Coptic Easter greeting
'Led Quiyama Magid' to my pharmacist. She smiled,said I smelled nice but should try Oud. I made a mental note to see if Gareth has anything when I visit ; who, will know I'm coming by the mayhem only a Thousand Oaks Monday morning can produce.

I must say KAV, you lead an interesting life. As for the fool on the mini-bike, rarely does Karma work so quickly.

As so many of your stories, KAV, this one, too, has me simply shaking my head and smiling.

Although, I must say that I’m sorry that the first aid was not sufficient to bring the seagull back to life.

Sometimes I feel like that old Lil' Abner character ( Anyone recall his name?) who walked around with a stormcloud over his head. I can only excuse A. I'm in Southern California which is a wonderful ethnic pot pourri (except for these damned ferriners from other states who complain they didn't pay this much for corn back in Iowa or talk about Chicago pizza)and B. I walk on average six miles a day at a military pace running (walking?) errands and statistically encounter more idiots, phenomenon of nature, religious zealots, stray dogs of unknown temperament and biker gangs; all on cellphones except the dogs. I find myself consciously pausing before leaving my shaving meditation; thinking that extra 10 seconds will avert another close encounter of the third kind. But no, there is another one just up the block.

I'd be interested in reading the official bureaucrat report on file.

I guess that's what you get for living in SoCal.

I guess that's what you get for living in SoCal.

That's why I live up ion the desert. Keeps the weirdos away...

Yes, A warning to all DO NOT MOVE HERE! change your plans before it's to late! Goes back to planning next weekend. Will it be; snow, beach, desert or redwood forest in a day's drive? Do I want; Chinese,Japanese, Thai, Filipino, Vietnamese,Indian, Persian, Kurdish, Moroccan, Ethiopian, French,Italian,German, Russian or English pub fare, Mexican, Jamaican or Brazilian, Cajun, Tenessee bbq, Chicago pizza, Kosher deli ? L.A.Opera or a folk music festival? Whale watching or star gazing, high desert wildflowers? Classic car show or alternative energy exhibition? Roller blading on the Venice boardwalk with microkini clad girls representing all he above ethnicities? Fencing practice or long range rifle competition? fly fishing?
If needed is it the Hindu temple, Zen center, Chabbad synagogue, High Church Anglican or Russian Orthodox, Sufi Mosque ?
Two neighborhood kids are outside, texting each other six feet apart about how BORED they are.

Yes, A warning to all DO NOT MOVE HERE! change your plans before it's to late! Goes back to planning next weekend. Will it be; snow, beach, desert or redwood forest in a day's drive? Do I want; Chinese,Japanese, Thai, Filipino, Vietnamese,Indian, Persian, Kurdish, Moroccan,  Ethiopian, French,Italian,German, Russian or English pub fare, Mexican, Jamaican or Brazilian, Cajun, Tenessee bbq, Chicago pizza, Kosher deli ? L.A.Opera or a folk music festival? Whale watching or star gazing, high desert wildflowers? Classic car show or alternative energy exhibition? Roller blading on the Venice boardwalk with microkini clad girls representing all he above ethnicities? Fencing practice or long range rifle competition? fly fishing?
If needed is it the Hindu temple, Zen center, Chabbad synagogue, High Church Anglican or Russian Orthodox, Sufi Mosque ?
Two neighborhood kids are outside, texting each other six feet apart about how BORED they are.

Wow...I vote watching microkini clad girls while eating German and Cajun

Yes, A warning to all DO NOT MOVE HERE! change your plans before it's to late! Goes back to planning next weekend. Will it be; snow, beach, desert or redwood forest in a day's drive? Do I want; Chinese,Japanese, Thai, Filipino, Vietnamese,Indian, Persian, Kurdish, Moroccan,  Ethiopian, French,Italian,German, Russian or English pub fare, Mexican, Jamaican or Brazilian, Cajun, Tenessee bbq, Chicago pizza, Kosher deli ? L.A.Opera or a folk music festival? Whale watching or star gazing, high desert wildflowers? Classic car show or alternative energy exhibition? Roller blading on the Venice boardwalk with microkini clad girls representing all he above ethnicities? Fencing practice or long range rifle competition? fly fishing?
If needed is it the Hindu temple, Zen center, Chabbad synagogue, High Church Anglican or Russian Orthodox, Sufi Mosque ?
Two neighborhood kids are outside, texting each other six feet apart about how BORED they are.

Hmm...tough choices...

Of course, I get to choose field documenting of wild rattlesnake and lizard species, tracking endemic and endangered wildlife, flying and hunting with falcons and hawks, volunteering at the Wildlife Rehabilitation Center with the Golden Eagles and Great Horned Owls, hiking through the Inyo National Forest, climbing Mt. Whitney, wildflowers in Death Valley, swimming in a high elevation lake, fly fishing for wild Volcano Creek Golden Trout, photographing the feet of the giants in the footsteps of Ansel Adams, alpine rock climbing, mountaineering, sport climbing in the Owen's Gorge, bouldering in any of about 12 different locations, cruising my motorcycle through the twisty canyons, or following my RC rock crawler up and down the foothills and creeks, horseback riding through the desert and up into the backcountry lakes, canoeing on Sabrina, or just chilling out on the front porch with a cold brew in one hand and good friends on the side...And I only have to deal with a population of about 3,800 people.

Yea...I have fewer food choices, but...I'll take what I got...