(This post was last modified: 05-06-2017, 08:39 PM by KAV.)
I worked with a Jewish mechanic from Manchester England. He hated Manchester, moved to Israel and hated it, came to California and after 4 marriages wanted to move to Costa Rica. I walked in just before the shop opened to prepare the other mechanic; David from Surrey on Thames our morning tea with digestives. We heard this howl from the Lou and Barry burst out just as the Chabbad Rebi walked in exchanging shaloms with me. He was ,uh singing his hair like those fine Italian barbers with candles. Only he WAS holding a disposable bic over his fundament and overadjusted the flame. Rebi is looking aghast just as the other mechanic showed up with Barry's breakfast; a chili cheesedog from DER WEINERSHNITZLE and ex # 4 arrived demanding back alimony and handing out business cards for her camm shows.
I walked the Rebi to his Volvo and discovered Barry had left the C clamp deliberately loose on the air mas meter and fixed it with my P 38 in half a minute. My Mormon farrier dropped by, Cactus Cooler soda wrapped in a brown sack demanding payment for a shoeing he hadn't performed. He was flying out to Mountain Home and wanted ammo money for Elk Season. I got mad, told him to ask Claude Dallas for ammo and fired him. Barry handed the chili cheese dog to me and I promptly ate it with my Earl Grey making him even redder in the face matching his novel bris. It was a long day and I quit the next week. It's been 9 years and I'm still confronted by Volvo drivers blaming me for a shoddy repair he made the week before.
There are days I imagine moving to France or Montreal and leaving all this behind me. I was talking French with my butcher and a trophy wife angry they didn't stock pate de foi gras called ICE, said the butcher was an illegal latino and talking about cutting up a political leader in Spanish. They were right there, I having warned the local campesinos walking down and marking their unmarked cars. My butcher had to produce proof of citizenship; birthplace Barton Rouge and I explained we were talking about a whole pig for the upcoming Cajun festival.
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